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Le Cardon

Le Cardon

Tribune helvétique · The Swiss Thistle

Le Cardon

« Prickly since forever. Edible with caution. »

Front page · The World, from Switzerland

Swiss president served raclette with chaat masala; Valais demands mobilisation, Bern sets up working group

On a state visit to India, Guy Parmelin was served a spiced raclette. Swiss neutrality survived two world wars, but it had never faced this.

Satirical engraving: a wheel of raclette cheese in a Swiss army helmet stands guard on an Alpine pass, facing a tiny spice jar advancing on a red carpet. No real people.
Satirical illustration (cartoon)

NEW DELHI. He held firm. According to menus published by the Indian press, Swiss President Guy Parmelin was served fire-roasted potatoes with raclette cheese, coriander chutney and chaat masala at Hyderabad House on 5 October, followed by a reimagined Swiss nut tart and masala chai ice cream. Nobody knows whether he enjoyed it. Our witnesses, entirely imaginary, agree: the former Vaud winegrower ate it. He even smiled. Back home, the news caused a shock historians compare to the Battle of Marignano, only spicier. In Sion, capital of Valais, the canton that considers raclette its national dish, a crisis committee demanded that the mountain brigade be mobilised and the ambassador recalled, …

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Economy

UBS threatens to leave Switzerland; Switzerland, smaller than UBS's balance sheet, considers moving inside UBS

The bank's balance sheet is bigger than the national economy. Bern has drawn the only logical conclusion: the smaller party packs.

ZURICH. Last month the Council of States, the upper house of the Swiss parliament, backed a plan that would force UBS to hold an extra 16 billion dollars of capital. The lower house has yet to vote, but the bank’s chairman has already conceded that UBS …

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